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I hate my "illness". I hate that it is an addiction and an obsession. I hate how completely grotesque it is. I hate how I need it so much. I hate how I know what I'm doing to myself but I can't stop. I hate how I hate that people are trying to be so supportive and loving and caring and helpful about it because I wish they'd leave me alone and let me do this to myself. I hate how disgusting this habit is, yet I continue to do it. I hate how my self-digust made me develop something even more disgusting. I hate this. I hate myself. Oct 3 12:06 PM MST