link herei hate my dad, my mom, and myself.
i hate that my dad fucked me up as a little kid by systematicaly breaking down my self esteem (my weight, i was 6) and i blame him for the eating disorder that i suffered for two years from. Hate that my mom refused to stand up for me because her parents fought as a kid and now it kills her to be in any kind of conflict.
i hate that she is weak and refuses to stand up for her kids because it makes her uncomfortable. Hurts her inside, fuck her! you know what else hurts making yourself puke after every meal, telling yourself that your fat every day, excersiseing until your to tired to move.
I hate that no one noticed. My dad is doing it to my little brother now, he tells him that he makes every day a burden and thinks its ok because the most my mom will say is "that went to far"
I hate that my mother blames me for the anger in my house when i stand up for my brother. Why? because it reminds her of her childhood. Thats the only reason she is addressing the issue, because it bothers her. Most of all
i hate myself.
I hate that i was weak enough to have an eating disorder,
i hate that i get depressed and keep getting caught up with the wrong type of guys and keep getting hurt.
i hate that i still think im fat and that im not worth it, and i will never be happy and will never be able to get a good, nice, normal, boyfriend.
i hate that i drink to forget the pain and make it go away, at least for a little while, untill i wake up the next day with a massive hangover.but
i hate that
i hate myself the most
Mar 17 9:19 AM MST