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I dont hate my mother, I hate how I am bipolar and know I need medication, even though I HATE taking it and am ashamed of taking pills and having psychological problems, but I take them anyways because I need them. I hate how my mother knows just what to do to get under my skin. I hate how on christmas day we had family over...and freinds of the family...and she is nice enough to ask if I have taken my pills in front of the entire dinner table. I hate how when I said yes she couldn't drop the issue and needed to ask if I was sure I had taken them. I hate how i said yes again and asked if we could drop the issue she got up and went to the medicine cabinet came back and put a pill beside my plate. I hate how I told her to fuck off in front of the whole table...in front of my aunts friends i hardly even know... i hate how some ass fuck who doens't even know me says i shouldn't talk to my mother that way, she knows if she realy wants to piss me off she should ask me about my meds...in front of people...i dont deal with embarrasment well...i get angry instead. I hate how she knows all this and feels the need to hurt me and make me look like an ass in front everyone i love, on christmas day no less. I hate how when i ask to talk to her in her room she keeps asking me if i have taken my pills over and over again, i have explained to her that asking me about my pills pushes my buttons before...and after explaining it again she simply said "well, have you taken them?" and i said yes...again and again...and she kept asking. I hate it that someone i love so much gives me every reason to hate them...i hate that someone who has been my world from childhood tells me not to come home on weekends because I get bothered when she constantly asks me about my girlfriend and asks me if she has left yet... i hate how through out my childhood i always thought she was the best mother in the world..even when we didn't get allong i thought she would do anything for me, go anyware for me and i always thought she did her best to make my life better...when realy....she sat arround all day collecting child support and borrowing money from relatives...living in a house her aunts paid for....i hate how before she saved child support money and made me pay for everything from clothes to food and shampoo from the time i was 16 (hygine and clothes since i was 14...) and put all the money my dad sent in the bank so she wouldn't have to get a job when i turned 18... i hate how i still make exuses for her and still realy want to believe she is perfect and i even though i know the things i have said are true deep down...i dont believe them...i dont believe my mom is a stealing lazy whore who fucked with me all my childhood...and still fucks with me today....and yet....logic says otherwise...logic says everything my heart doesn't believe..or doesn't want to....i hate feeling sorry for her when she does things to hurt me and my brothers...i just hate all of it May 3 11:49 AM MST