link hereI'm in college now, and this should be all over for me; I should be able to move on and enjoy my life, but my parents keep ruining it. Neither my mother or my father have ever been actual parents to me. My mother had past drug prescription problems, and my father was an alcoholic manipulative dick.
I fucking hate both of them. They divorced when I was around five but insisted on dragging me in the middle, and I've had to put up with so much shit that it's been fucking legendary. Over the years, all the things I could never do because they selfishly mismanaged money has really affected me. I could never go on outings with my friends, I rarely ever got the things I actually needed, and most of all beyond money, I never got any actual support from either.
My father remarried when I was around seven and let the bitch that was my stepmother yell and cuss and generally emotionally abuse me until she told me to get the fuck out of her. The irony? Out of all of her kids, I was the only ONE, her non-biological child, to give a fuck about her welfare after her MS set in.
Meanwhile, my own mother is too busy being with her friends, drinking, smoking marijuana, and gambling to give a fuck about me. We'd go without food and a car for fucking ages because she'd spend her money on unimportant shit. I know she went through a lot of problems with my dad in her marriage- he whored around rampantly and really, pretty much turned me against her, but really it didn't take much.
I hate how both of my parents always try to twist and turn and manipulate how I feel; they always send me on fucking guilt trips but have never given me the love and support I've needed.
Now I'm nineteen. My senior year royally imploded because my father contracted an STD of some sort and insisted on buying a mail-order bride because no one in our city was willing to sleep with him any longer. He goes ballistic over this whore insisting I put her above my own mother, and on the flip side my mom and I start to actually get involved in each other's lives again. My childhood has really been one long convoluted story of being stretched and pulled...So, I'm somewhere between forgiving my mother, and my dad goes off the fucking deep end, sometime last month he attacked me, like attempted to strangle me, for me addressing how he treats me. I blacked his eye and ran for the door, but things haven't been much better with my mother either now.
I live in a dorm- thank god, but she constantly fucks up money, and then runs over to me to bail her out. What little fucking money I do have, I need! So, I give her money- sometimes my every last cent, and she swears it's going to her rent or getting our car fixed, but then I call her up...and where the fuck is she? Out gambling...
Then she'll call me all depressed the next few days later, and say how I don't do anything for her, how bad a daughter I am, and how irresponsible I am when I'm living on ramen noodles and fruit cups because I just gave you my last dollar which you gambled away. And this is rich, whenever she gets money... Guess where it goes? She'll give it my older sister, who has a job and is equally irresponsible rather than paying me back. She'll fucking give money away to people at the casino to play and insists I play too, and gets mad if I just want to you know pocket the money for a rainy day instead... My sister is a bitch I can't stand too. She's easily pushing 300 lbs and has two kids with this greasy fuck who's always on and off again employed. She's always criticising me and being such a diva and acting like I get special treatment when the money I struggle to keep, my mother literally hands to her so she go out eat like a fucking pig with her fat family.
I can't fucking stomach either of my parents.
My Dad is a physically and emotionally abusive ass-hole who while I struggled to get the money to go to college, getting scholarships and grants, sends thousands of dollars overseas to whores. My mother refuses to get a job and insists on sponging on what little I have, and she's just as emotionally abusive. I'm a nearly straight A student...I've been that way since fucking high-school, and I'm the only one in my entire god-damn family with a modicum of responsibility, and it makes me fucking sick how my parents are such huge absolute zeroes in my life.
May 4 12:01 AM UTC 
