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I hate being an addict. The thought of all the things i let slip through my fingers the last few years over a quick buzz keeps me up most nights. I wish i could rewind time and watch my baby brother grow from a child to a man, have a clear head to choose a good guy for myself instead of the loser im stuck with now, stayed in college and got my degree, woke up and made my mom breakfast everyday, held my best friends hand as she gave birth to a beautiful little girl (now named after me). I hate that i hate myself for these things, and will never get to experience them again. I hate that i can't stop. Jan 30 3:06 AM MST