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I hate when middle aged assholes shop at health food/vegan friendly grocery stores and act like they're so aloof and cultured. "Yes, hello Marge", I hear them say on their shitty blinking bluetooths, "I'm just at Whole Foods now, yes, I only buy organic you know, all free range, me and Harold are getting healthy, I can't believe the trash people put in their bodies nowadays". And then you look in their cart and they have huge slabs of meat, smelly ass artery clogging cheeses and-get this-ORGANIC FUCKING CHEESY POOFS, like that makes a difference! And they're always fat fucking upper class bobs driving huge SUVs and they never EVER bring reusable bags.

First of all you fucker, I'm vegan and I don't give a shit about being healthy. I have never intentionally purchased anything organic in my entire life. I understand that to you this sort of grocery shopping is a new exciting adventurous experience but for those of us who want to get our shit and go you're being a major pain the ass. Trader Joe's is not a fucking art gallery-do not stand there and stare contemplatively at a package of free-range pork loins as though you're making an informed decision. It doesn't make you look cool, or rich, or cultured. You're buying another piece of dead animal that's exactly the same as the other pieces of dead animal at every other regular grocery store. It's penis wrinkles like yourself that make me have to wade through meat and dairy sections at even the finest vegan friendly grocery stores and eateries. Speaking of eateries, you know what I'd like you to eat?
MY ASS. Jun 24 12:57 AM UTC