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I hate how hard it is to concentrate on something because I’m constantly thinking about her. I consciously know that it's stupid how much time I spend dreaming about her and that her and I are most likely never going to date. I tell myself these things persistently and I continuously remind myself to focus on my work and more important things but it so hard not to be absolutely crazy about her. I made a serious attempted to forget about her and not be distracted but it's impossible because every time I hear someone say her name or I'm reminded of her in any way my body seems to stop working and I freeze and time stops for a second while every moment I've spent with her races through my head. But I can't really blame her, it's like telling her I hate her for being beautiful, I hate her for being so wonderful, I hate her for loving so many of the things I love. I guess really I just hate the fact that even if she does like me there's no way she could spend nearly as much time thinking about me as I do about her. Nov 20 7:14 AM UTC