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I hate having leukemia. I hate that all people see when they look at me is my hair and the tube coming out of my arm. I hate that my own family can't even deal with it. I hate how most of my friends have stopped talking to me or wanting to see me. I hate how I have to spend every fucking day either at home or at the clinic, which is filled with a bunch of sick depressed people whose children are dying. I hate every fucking person in the world who deserves to get cancer and never gets it. I hate my pot smoking dad, who takes vacations but can't take a day off work to drive me to the hospital. I hate all the doctors who have been nasty to me. I hate people who think I should be fucking grateful for being alive. Well you know what? Half the time I wish I was dead. I hate having to depend on everyone. But most of all, I hate myself. Jul 13 9:37 AM MST