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I hate the way I keep you a secret. I hate the way I don’t tell anyone my but a few people how much I talk to you. I don’t like the way I think I like you but cant go through with it because im afraid to give up the guy I have liked for 5 horrid years. I hate the way I know I shouldn’t be talking to you but I do and hide you. I hate the way you make me learn more about myself. I don’t understand it im so drawn to you. Im drawn to you like a moth to a light bulb in a dark room. I hate the way I am always sitting by the computer awaiting till you will come on line. I hate the way I cant talk to you. I hate the way you deserve better then me and I know it. I hate the way I know I need to cut ties with you and move on with my life. Im am sorry and I know it. I care about you yet, I still don’t stand up for you and say how nice I think you are. I hate how we both know we shouldn’t be talking due to our situations in life. one day I will look at this time in my life and wonder what I could have said. what I could have done to make thing work out. We both know we cant be more then friends yet we still talk all the time and it kills me inside. It just utterly kills me. I don’t like the way this is my first time admitting my problems about you and I hate every part of it yet I love it so what is it all about. Apr 17 4:20 PM MST